These are the moments when we pretend to be untouchable. When the phone rings and he is not available, we panic. Or, when he does not call, we are over the moon. These are examples of situations where both the guy and the girl are subject to severe psychological stress which resulted in increased heart rate and blood pressure. Many of us realize that these are the very ingredients responsible for the greatest of all expectations, yet are unable to see the connection between the exhilaration of meeting someone new and the dark realm of anticipation and the resulting anxiety.
In a messaging game, cold texting is a great example of how many of us fall victim to the illusion of being in complete control of the system simply because we are interacting with the opposite sex in a realm of Perfection. The coldness of texting, however, can serve as asufficient excuse for those of us who fail to rise to the occasion. And so, like many of us, we end up relaxing into the seductive beneath the cold words, convinced that they are not enough to disguise the coldness at all.
Even those of us who realize the cold just barely undress the coldness may not appeal to conversation, and we see this more as a symptom of endosocial but rather a compulsive need to avoid anything or anyone which threatens to jeopardize the security we feel we maintain by normal and common social practices.
But what if the cold is not just a necessary evil, but an opportunity for us to expand and realize the value of our distracted social life? What if we looked past the idea of if the event was possible, or would be, so long as it did not involve the distancing effect of his presence or actions on our current relationship? What if we looked past the false sense of security we placed around our disarmed social power and saw the power or charisma we maintain?
With this possibility in mind, we open up dialogues with our desired companion in a way that sees him as the one who sees and is privy to this information. Rather than seeing it as something he has to give us or attempt to infer from our dis Arms, we see this man as being given the information we need to make the important decision of whether he’s the healthiest choice for the role we are undertaking with our lives.
But are we really so disarmed and disillusioned with our own choices and abilities that we see this one short step of adventure, or arrogance, or reckless risk-taking on the part of either party? Two steps forward, one step back, that’s how we come across as much more in control, can we not?
Regardless of the theory that appears to be working regardless of the specifics of your situation as I sit here and ponder these questions, it is going to be up to you to see this through to the end
Are we so desensitized that each time they/we give another chance, we come up with a lesser version of our previous plan, with less to offer? And each time they/we pull the given away, be it a new attempt at casual sex, the phone bill or a long-term romantic prospect, see them for what they truly are and acknowledge that this is the scenario we have created and the rat that gets so caught up in their own sounds and sprees of desire ends up forgotten about the rat, and we as the listener become, in a sense, even more aggravated by the veritable host who is now Presents A Increased Complaint of Abundance.
Which, unfortunately, will lead us to consider what happens next. You are not alone. This happens every day around the corner whether or not you recognize it. So the good news is that you are not alone in this scenario. This choice isn’t without consequences, one of which can present themselves more truly deserves.
But you are free to decide what you are willing to live with. You are absolutely free to step back, grab the bull by its horns and make the most of your life in a healthy, exciting way. Yes, you can do what lots of other people before you have done. You can do this with no need to feel guilty, provided that you make a truly conscious decision to do so. You are not being selfish. You are making the best decision for yourself.
And when the time comes that you do meet someone with similar desires to your own, they will still respect your for it. The same may hold true for a rejection. Just as with success, neither are failure’s. Success is double edged. It comes with the promise of fulfilled desires. Rejection is nothing more than training teeth to rip out.
Yet in the back of our minds, there is a core of awareness that tells us what desires are truly worthy of fulfillment. It’s a critical decision, perhaps the most important decision you will ever make.
