So, you’ve just met the guy you have been waiting for. Mr. Right now. All you want to do is to get to know him, fall in love and finally be in a relationship. But we are human beings. We all have attachments including our love relationships with family members, friends, parents and relatives. It is also likely that you have been hurt before by a lover with whom things did not work out. And it is also likely that you have been hurt, if not a lot then at least enough to steer clear, if you decide to enter the dating arena again.
And so, you decide to enter the dating arena again and you tell yourself that this time around things will be different. Surely after a breakup you should not allow your past relationships to interfere with your present and future ones. There is no doubt that the past is past, but connections from a person to you is something different.
Yet, all these problems still somehow find their way into the dating arena. How does it happen? How does a person, who for love sake, was engaged in a relationship, decide on the future with that person? Do they make the decision alone, or did someone else play a part in their decisions?
These are the million dollar questions that go through every single one of our lives. Why does it happen that way? Well, the reasons are as endless as the accounts of the heartbreak that came before. But, there is one common denominator: When it comes to love and relationship, it all boils down to the decision that each one of us made at a certain point in the past.
When we were little children, playing make believe, telling our parents everything that we wanted to be the story to try and win that next-door neighbor to move in next door, playing house, trying to get the best of the family’s house and beyond, trying to be the best of boys. These are all childlike attempts at developing a healthy relationship that would later give us experiences that would allow us to make decisions.
As we grow up, these insistent messages to be ourselves eventually give way to the real you. However, having lived through these events, we decide in most cases not to follow this youthful desire for closeness. Then we wonder why were are labeled grown up. We actually are not; we have just matured into independence.
It was actually not until our late teens that we really began to develop relationships with our parents, and later with dating friends, to then decide for our parents what we would tell them. Even then, decisions are still left to us. As we get older, these constant decisions become nightmares. It seems almost random what we choose to do with our time. One day we decide we don’t need our friends, and are glad they didn’t come with us. Another day we decide we don’t care for some of our friends, and choose to isolate ourselves from them instead. Yet another day we decide that we just want to stay home in bliss, and have no idea how to go about it.
Yet it doesn’t take very long before we begin thinking about the type of partner we would rather have. Maybe it is that we don’t want to date at all. Not everything is going to be perfect. And it is usually best to date few people, all of whom are new to us. Why? Because there is no guarantee that the people we meet and become involved with will be the ones to whom we will finally be attracted. We have learned that we will date others who attempt to come in our life first.
At first it seems almost uncomfortable to date. Why is this? It can be quite frustrating going out with someone, who for unknown reasons, just does not seem to fit into the Fragrant balloon that we have been carrying around inside of us, the whole time squeezing out from under it, sending us rapid answers to the question: ‘What are we up to?’
What we have done, instead of sitting back waiting for someone to come and go in our lives, we have gotten ourselves involved. Either through going out on dates, or putting ourselves out there, we have instead, inside of our heads, put the decision up to a vote. The decision making process can be difficult, but instead of scrambling for answers we chose to consult our Casanova.
Trust me, he has all the answers. So, instead of wondering, how do I date? Trust him, he has been there before. So instead of looking for a girlfriend you can trust, go with your heart. You have nothing to lose.
Meeting the love of your life is not a problem. After all, the answer to the question ‘how do I date?’ is just a click away.
But to make dating simple, real life and logical becomes a challenge.