This week I want to focus on coming out from men. What is a man after all? Where does he fit in your life? Are you struggling to come out of your man and into your womanhood?
Coming out from men is not a bad thing, when you come out of men you are coming out of a relationship which is unhealthy, you can end up being lonely, unhappy, or even desperate. When you come from men your relationship tends to reflect low self-esteem, this isn’t healthy for either one of you, so coming out of men is important to not only coming out of a relationship but also growing as a person.
Coming out of a relationship is the best time for you to start acknowledging and celebrating your femininity. A good way to come from your relationship is realizing that there is power outside of love and that you can love while still coming out of a relationship strong and alive.
Most women start cutting off friends, wearing less flattering clothing, and hiding behind evenings out where they drink and dance. A quick skim through the magazines might give you the impression that your life should be a romper, but likelihood is that it won’t be. It might feel great to indulge your feminine side, but there’s a lot of truth to missed communication and a feeling of disconnect. These are both very bad things, and in some cases if you have a significant other, they are both very bad things.
Coming from men does not have to mean putting others down, as long as you are respecting yourself and others. Remember that in most cases, the reason a man would leave is because their woman isn’t fulfilling sexual needs, or that they have hit a wall in their career that they cannot get over. These are both very valid reasons for a break-up so don’t trivialize them. Be honest with yourself as you decide how you want to come out from men.
Imagine the things you might fear if your partner were to find out where you’ve hidden those journal pages that you were so secretive with? How would that affect the image your partner has of you? These are things to think about when it comes to coming out of men.
Trust is a essential part of coming out of men, and if that trust is broken in any way it is a sure bet that you will not grow as a person. You will also have room in your heart for love, but if your partner feels as though you are hiding something, any love you have for them will not be like you want it to be.
If you are one of those people that takes pride in keeping all of your relationship secrets, or have believed all your life that your partner will never find out about your little secrets, then come out of men and not only do you lose trust but your self-worth. While your partner should know about everything, and will certainly be proud you like to share those little secrets as well, you should never feel as though they are your best friends as they certainly are not, and hiding something is the quickest and easiest way to kill a relationship.
These little secrets may not seem much to you, but the truth is that all relationships have lots of little secrets that have different meanings depending on the circumstances, and often even the individual. For instance, maybe your guy of recent acquaintance was joking at an appropriate moment with a best friend, about how he found it incredibly sexy that the latter was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. If you flip through the personal ads that your best friend has been putting out for various dating sites you will see comments from men similar to what your guy was saying to you, because the men with whom she was corresponding were hot, young, and cared about how to present themselves to potential partners. Those men are much closer in their outlook than your typical co-worker. This is a good thing for you to pay attention when deciding what comes first, men, or relationships, because those men are more likely to be attracted and interested in you if they have a picture of you.
By coming to the realization that this is a good step forward for your relationship and that you and your partner are on the same page about your future plans, you will have a much better chance of success. dinners and movies may seem like the natural progression of things, but think about what you want, and what he wants, before you decide what is the right term for you two. Settling doesn’t mean settling, and often means something much deeper. Let him know the kind of world your world lives in, and make him participate in it, because even if he doesn’t understand it the way you do, he is a part of it and is happy that he is in it.
