What would you do if you saw a “wanted” sign hanging out of a tree? You would rush to the scene. If you were a single parent, you would NOT go to the church to ask the favor.
Because the church is and always has been a safe haven and haven for love. However, don’t assume that your prospective love is going to magically appear there, Mr. or Mrs. Right will most likely not walk through the door, at least not right away.
Walk into every situation with your child in mind. Now, if you are trying to weed out the one’s who don’t have your best interest in mind, then call their bluff.
I tell my single mother viewers that if you have a child who is asking you to please pay child support, it only takes someone who is compassionate and loving not to do what everyone else is doing and just hire someone to do the job for them.
Now, I am not saying that you should do this. I am just saying that 1) it is different and 2) you will feel less guilty later on if you do have to pay child support and help support for the other person’s child.
Every situation is different, but adding the child into your life experience can help you scale the growing pains that go along with every relationship.
If this isrameeatologecritically, this is something that most people have to go through.None of us find it easy to admit that “I have a problem now.” Even the one’s who state that they have a problem need reevaluation. “I have a problem,” is code for, “I don’t feel good about myself, so I am making excuses for why I can’t have something that I want.”
So, don’t be afraid to admit a problem. Embrace it. How do we do that?
We have to know what the problem is, have to admit that it’s a problem, then we have to place the child in the picture as well. Why is this important?
Because women are generally more vulnerable and men are generally more powerful. A 10 year old kid is going to have more power than 2 grown people, plain and simple.
So to appear strong, a 10 year old kid has to “take the box” and throw it on the ground, and step on it hard. This not only shows the child that you can take care of them, but it also tells the man that you belong to no one but him, man, and the child, and you will NEVER give them up.
When you do that, you are establishing your relationship with the child, instead of the other person. Because once you do that, you are giving the child’s needs ahead of your own.
So instead of saying, “I want him to pay child support,” it could be said, “I want this child to share his/her life with me.” Your child has a much better chance of being happy and being fulfilled in a long run with someone who is committed to making that relationship work for both of them.
If the child is a minor, say “I” or “me.” If the child is a couple, state your case for the child being in your life. “I” and “me” are very attached, strong words that resonate deeply with women and make relationships stronger.
Couples in a relationship are obliged always to acknowledge the other person’s strength, power and love. If you fail to do that, then you have a serious problem and may want to seek couples counseling.
When you are single, you have no one to blame but you. You need to find yourself a partner who you can love and share your life with. A relationship is a partnership and only true love can make it so. Otherwise, life is full of unpredictable waves of undertow and failure.
If you don’t have personal power and you want to gain it, get into an exercise program, such as Yoga, which is a great way to start. What does this do? It gets your mind and body in shape, it improves your posture, which makes it easier to confront others with ease. And as exercising bodies make our minds feel, clearing our minds becomes so much easier.
Yoga does all of this. That’s why it’s a great way to find yourself a partner, as it allows you to do so in a way that is convenient and social. Ask yourself, “What can I do today to attract someone into my life?” What could you do? If you’re at the computer, write a comment on this newspaper website, or join a class, such as a Visual Artists class. These are great ways to meet people and to improve your self esteem.
The point is that there is no strategic way to find a partner.
