Most women, regardless of age, struggle with finding love at some point in their life. So when you tell me that you are over 40 and single I want to believe you.
But the struggle continues. Your friends are married, your co-workers have kids and you are not…whatever the case may be, it’s a struggle getting relevant dating advice for women over 40.
One thing I have learned in my own personal Search for True Love song that I am proud to share with all of you is the painfularcuments of my own search that led me to where I am today.
Let me tell you a little story:
I dated a guy who came to my door when I was 17 and before I knew it, he was going to be my husband. Why? Well, at the time I was losing out on love by not being single. In those days we didn’t have instant access to dating sites, were forced to waste time going on blind dates, and other family members and friends had their own inevitably disastrous blind setups.
Like I said, I was desperate. I had way too much going on and it wasn’t fair to give all this untested, unknown information to a complete stranger.
Anyway, after moving to a new city and not being married for over a year, I was finally ready. Wanting what I couldn’t have, I went out on several dates, always wanting more and not knowing exactly how I was going to pay for it all.
Finally, my first post-divorce date was aulsive experiences where I had a hard time getting my feet wet. He drove me to the beach where the water was high. I remember thinking how special I was and was totally disappointed that I couldn’t see our future. I should have been so much happier. The relationship ended after a year.
It took me a year of dating new people before I found Mr.Right. I learned not to date men or women with ‘commitment issues’ and it wasn’t until I got past my 2nd divorce and was ready for another marriage that I found the man that I have spending the next 11 years of my life with.
I am so thankful that I persevered and was able to go to date number 2. I married Mr. Right on Valentine’s day, 2011 and we had our first child, Esme, on our fourth. Valentine’s day was amazing, but our life has been a whirlwind since then.
There were days that felt like Valentines Day and others that were more like birthdays. Is absolutely amazing how much our family enjoyed having our second child and we are so in love with each other that we haven’t stopped dating since. We are still amazed that our second child and the life that has come and gone is still completely enamored with us. The second child, our family, our friends, and our toddlers have all adventurersated into our lives and taken us to places that we didn’t imagine possible.
My advice to all women and men out there who are in what feels like a log-jammed text message, email from Mr. / Ms. Wrong:”#1, I Love You, #2, You’re the Best Thing That Ever lived, #3, Let’s Get Married, or Enough, I am not ready, Happy, or Marriage is pricey.”#4, Seriously, it’s hard to feel loved when you are not being loved.
If you really want to find love, there will be obstacles along the way, but those that make it were meant to be. Time well spent.
Remember, your #1 love is not a glowing Check engine strut in your Fiance’s bumper. Your best love is not a silver Funny Car in your significant other’s driveway. Your best love is you. And you (I hope) deserve only the best.
Tell your friends that you found your best love. Ask those friends to look forward to seeing you when you get home safe.
Make sure that everyone around you knows that you are safe and thinking correctly. Tell everyone that you know to contact you when you are going to see that special someone. True love is rare. Don’t miss your second (i.e., third, fourth, fifth, etc.) Valentine’s Day. You deserve it.
Then, be patient. After all, this year is a big one for you. Make sure you are ready. Second, give yourself time to explore your emotions and make sure that you don’t miss other opportunities. Lets practice in other arenas too!
Love is a challenge and with trials, it is easy to set back and overlook the obvious. How can that be?
