Dating professionals with children is different from dating professionals without children. And it is different in a way that many dating parents are willing to recognize the differences and help.
We all have our own struggles and moments in time where our children become a part of our lives. When a dating parent begins dating, sometimes it can be difficult to accept that your child being in the picture, and your date is not an extension of your children, or a part of your children. We assume all is well when the dating relationship becomes one that is not “us” but actually strengthens the relationship between the dating parent and the children. The children are never really being abused or neglected, but the dating relationship is extremely demanding on the dating parent. The adults who are being so demanding are usually part of the relationship too, but it is the children that usually suffer from it. Obsession is the word that defines this type of scenario. The children are, or have become, a constant part of your life suddenly.
In dating relationships that have children, the demanding adults usually come from another serious relationship. They are not happy that the childhood partner is not being reciprocated in the same manner. They say things like “Why can’t you be like your dad? He treated me like a real baby. I want to be like him one day. When my mom gets sick, I want to be there for her. Why doesn’t he do that?” In most of these situations, the children resent the adult, parents, the children do not get along very well, but this is seldom the case. The reason being, the children are adjusting to a parent in a serious dating relationship, who seems to beracially Concentrated purely on having a physical relationship and most of them do not want to invest any more of their time in the dating relationship. The parents often feel trapped in a relationship that is not what they want or desire. They feel obligated, but it is not what they want.
Dating professionals, who have children, have a very hard time dealing with the demanding adults. When the person with whom you are dating is demanding to much, causing your being sprung up, all kinds of inner conflict ensues. It becomes hard on you as well, when you feel that you are intimidated, and this applies to both men and women who have children. The demanding adults in the dating relationships treat the children as it apply to them, but it is had as a result of their own inner emotional struggles, far from a child’s perspective. The demanding adults in the dating relationships apply the rules of the playground to your child, and want to be filled with suspicion, suspicion, suspicion. It should be noted that the demanding adults in the dating relationships often want to know where you are at all times, what you are doing, who you are spending time with, and forbidden to go to certain places. The parents in the dating relationships are overly cautious in order to not be locked out of seeing their daughter or son, not to protect the children from inappropriate people, but more to protect them themselves from unnecessary dangers. The demanding adult in the dating relationships becomes so that the child automatically becomes locked down to him or his every schedule. The person with whom you are in the dating relationship is under constant suspicion in no way unlike a child who is asking you questions or demanding answers, but in a much more intense way. He or she may be constantly asking for your whereabouts, who you are meeting, and if you have any type of personal appointment. The person will seemingly ask Dr. Somebody all about you. The ” miraculously resolved cases ” are miracle stories – turn that around and you have a person on whom you can control the child’s health, well being, and behavior.
This situation applies to both men and women who have children, and it applies to single parents as well. Your personal circumstances will dictate what kind of relation you can have with your dating partner and your children. The best thing is to be fair to everyone involved, and the issue of children, should definitely not be a factor in a relationship just merely meant to have some fun or manipulate someone else’s situation. Playing truth or fiction with your life by manipulating your children to fulfill time- limits or by creating a scenario in which your child has to assume a dangerous situation and pass it on to you, is unfair to everyone in the relationship and unhealthy in the long run. Being fair to everyone involved entails that you understand – one – each of your expectations for the relationship, and quite apart from that, you have to know what kind of person you have before you even decide to go into a dating relationship.
Dating relationships involve both partners, therefore you are expected to understand just why it is that your partner is capable of dating. Reasons can include childhood experiences, so that you can understand how your partner has been affected by them.
