Love is blind, it seems. Especially when flowers, chocolates and an emotional working over while blissfully in love. But what happens when you find yourself unexpectedly out on a blind date. Or worse, meeting up with one in person? Not prepared. Not really thinking about this first date like ‘What can we do/ discuss to make it the best date ever?’ Well then, that’s the first thing we both fall victim to. Unexpectedly and blind-sided! Weddings, birthday parties, some ‘ Bruce Springsteen type’ stuff so we treat it like a job interview that requires Instant Alcohol.
And then the tears! We don’t think we can handle it so we do what women tend to do more than men: we listen to our girlfriends. We go out with the ‘popular’ guys who are good LOOKING and make us feel great. We go to the movies and have the most REALLY long dinner when we have no plans and are pretty much under your control the whole time. We go to a concert and can’t even stay for the appetizers/dinner because we hate it when he changes the subject or doesn’t call/text after. And then in the end, it ends with, ‘Do I want to go out on a blind date with you?’ Sounds familiar, huh? At this point, we’re about to be ambushed with the same old story and the search begins for the creative excuse. Sigh.
Lets just say the worse situation of all, probably. Both of you do have at least a ‘prospect’ type of relationship and are getting set for rejection at every turn. Both of you are swept off attention, but on one person you can’t help but be seeing green lights. The other person is interacting with a girl who constantly touches his arm and seem totally into him. Her lips part and his heart starts pounding. His knees are knocking hearts and his brain is flip-flopping between ‘yes, we have a problem’ and ‘iy put you away changeling’. And the cycle continues. What went wrong?
Yep, perhaps it is where you are either way too couch potato with no life rhythm or you are plainingly, a loser. It happens. Maybe he put down the pipe or she didn’t pay attention to the salad. Who cares? You’re not dating anymore. And if you’re reading this, by now you probably have found a guy or two who will not put up with dating you anymore. But what about that other guy or two who just kept inviting you out, no matter how bad your manners were? He had at least one good reason (besides the fact that he could get away with a slice or two of pizza while you get idiotic treatments from the restaurant…)
Finally, what most women don’t understand, is that the problem isn’t them, it’s them. They probably don’t know how to break the cycle of being good and deserving enough to get a guy, only to have him leave when he can’t meet your expectations any more. Oh, he might not be a rat or a time- traveler from the future, but the fact is that men come in different packages. And it’s easy to fall for one of them, but the moment he gets a sense that he’s being taken for granted, he’ll get rid of you in the hurry. He doesn’t want to be smothered. And if you’re wondering if you’re helping him do that, well, yes, to a certain degree, you can’t really help him on that count.
What you CAN do though, is be open-minded to try to let the good soul that he is show through on you. Nurture it. Cultivate it. It takes effort, but give it your best. So long as you’re honest with him and you don’t expect where it’s going to lead, I’m sure that the next step will present itself. And if not, well then you’ve saved yourself a lifetime of pain. You deserve it.
