First Date – Writing the Date

man in blue and white plaid sport shirt beside woman in black crew-neck sweater

Am I allowed to ask where is the best place to take a first date? I understand from the media that getting a second date is getting more difficult these days. And the truth is that we’re afraid of doing it again. But where should we take a first date that will be able to carry a lot of conversation without it getting too personal?

This all comes down to the level of the date itself. Are you scared yet to ask where’s the best place to take a first date? If not, you’ll have to start from the top down.

Throughout American history, first dates have always been well considered. The man will ask the woman Out, while the women will always make the first move. But, times have changed and roles have changed too.

Now, the women have stepped up, and with that, the men are probably clueless as to what to do. They’ll ask the woman out, but they are afraid to call her up or meet her. They’re waiting for that elusive “more significant meeting” date.


It’s all fine and dandy to offer to pay, but at least somebody who asks, should pay. Don’t be afraid to talk about the first date in a ” editor’s mode” – meaning, the conversation is raw. It’s fine to be proud of your job, your accomplishments and what you’ve done in life. But, don’t try to sell her on the idea that you’re an accomplished, influential man.

At a first date, people will just assume that you’re like the rest of them – weak. Insecure. With the situation, you don’t even know the female counterpart of yourself. Thus, if you’re not eloquent, you can’t elevate the situation. Just make sure you’re friendly, that you genuinely care and that you have a lot to offer her.


Assuming you get a date with an interesting person, the crowd that’s going to be there is not a lot of guys to choose from. It’s either a bunch of guys plus the girl, or a bunch of girls plus the guy.

And with so many options, why make a move if you don’t know who’s going to be interested in you? It’s going to be difficult to find “the one” with so many other potential spouses.

So even though you might think that you’re Mister Suggestible here, try not to assume that. Talk to some girls in the crowd, ask them if they think your date could be interesting.


If she doesn’t seem at ease, you can take that as a sign to make a move. But if she’s comfortable to have you around, when to go for the kino is up to you.

But I think that we’re afraid to do some flirting. Take it easy and try to get her more comfortable with you. Make her feel that she’s interesting to you, and that you find her interesting. Feel the conversation out. On a first date, be spontaneous. Feel out what you can about that person.

But remember that there’s a right way and a wrong way to do this.


A lot of guys do ask for the first date, and they have to do so in a unique way, that leaves a lasting memory. But there’s no “right” way to do that. Here’s how I would approach a first date.

alis a creative, lighthearted conversation. Don’t drag out the best stories of your life read before your eyes!

Try to avoid boring subjects.

Talk about something fun, lighthearted, and playful.

Ask about her, her job, her goals, and initially, give her the chance to talk about herself.

Focus on making a connection with her.

Engage her in some kind of activity. You can shoot her a text or a message, or talk about something at play in the bar that you two might share (you could also just shoot yourself a line, it’s ok).

Actively listen and engage her. That is not to say that you should just sit there and nod to what she’s saying (that would be boring). Ask questions about what she’s telling you to show your interest.

Gently guide her into a warm, welcoming conversation. You can lean in at unexpected times to gather more information about her.

Clearly define your deal breakers. You have a list of the absolute don’ts that you do not tolerate. S/he must not have any of those. Look at the list your partner has, pick the one or two deal breakers from there and acknowledge them with a smile and a nod.

man in blue hoodie kissing woman in black and gray shirt during daytime