Do you know how to avoid first date disaster? A lot of online dating advice will tell you that you should never meet a complete stranger but if you are single and you haven’t been on a date in years, you should leave the long dresses, rose awaited on your front door, and rush the nervousness. I suggest that you take a pass on that one and go out on a coffee date. You can make it more comfortable and less risky if you just have a friend or two that you can go and hang out with…;-)
ACTION ITEM
Do’s
-Go to a place that isn’t too crowded.
-Keep the conversation casual and relaxing.
-No need to introduce your kids to everyone at the table.
-Try to relax, and tree things down a bit.
EXTENDING THE TRY
-Don’t be late.
– Thank them for checking with you and playing extra safe.
-Don’t talk about yourself too much but don’t reveal too much either.
-Keep the conversation casual and light.
-Be interested in what they are saying but stay away from sensitive topics such as politics, religion, or past relationships.
DOs
– Be a good listener.
– Smile, be lively, and be interested.
– Pay attention to their appearance including their shoes, hair, and mannerisms.
– Laugh at the jokes or tone of voice they use.
– Keep an open attitude and don’t have a list of things you must have in your life on the first date.
DON’TS
– Talk about yourself too much or too little.
– Talk about what you want to do after the date and are not willing to compromise.
– Tell them the age of your kids and don’t panic if it is a few years younger than you are.
– Tell them that you don’t like talking about family problems or past battles with former partners.
– Reveal negative things that strangers can’t CREATE.
SITUATION
-It is important to get a good first impression. If you look too flashy in a mini skirt and blouse, this sends the message that you’re just after a good time. Choose some outfits that are sexy but keep things respectable.
– Work on your confidence with the way you walk and talk. Talk a little higher with the lids on your eyes to add to your overall flirtatious effect.
– Sit in the corner of the room to avoid intimidating your date. Sit in a corner and get as close to an actual person as you can and well away from the action. (You are not trying to instill modesty in your date, but rather a general chat.)
– If you can, try to do your best to communicate with your date in a language other than English. Most people are more embarrassed to ask a questions in their native tongue than to learn how to communicate with you.
– Move to a private setting as soon as you recognize that you have an uncomfortable silence. (It sounds critical, but don’t do it.) That is extremely frustrating and not your date’s first date. Do not worry, that is not the end of the world, just find another date.
PESSIMISTIC TIP#1
-The majority of people make serious mistakes in earshot on their first date. These also tend to be mistakes that can really build a relationship into something great. Listen carefully to your date’s answers and ask some questions of your own. By the end of a first date, you will have learned enough to know whether you’d like to go out another time.
– Trust your instincts, this one can be the difference between entering into a long term relationship and hanging it up.
– If you have reservations about even getting out your date, make them known gently. If there is no spark, then keep it at that. If there is a spark….then be sure to let your date know ahead of time.
– Tell your date a little bit about what you have enjoyed about past dates and give them tips for their own enjoyment. Let them know exactly what you have enjoyed, the last person you went on a date with Janice, got to enjoy, feel like, and look for another date with that person.
– Win dates and tell others how great they are.
TIP #2
-If your childhood friend is a pals Perception check. Everyone has unique likes and dislikes and tastes in people. Your Truth is not every pal’s or relationship’s cognizance of parts of life.
