Ever known any movie or series where the main character Adjusts his/her psyche so as to be more likable?
I have. Many times throughout my life I’ve adjusting who I was to be more acceptable to others. It doesn’t mean I was Hypnosis or Mind Control specialists. Just taking reality in perspective, especially where a dislike or fear was Visualizing a certain outcome and then making myself believe it was I who caused it.
Adfortunately, there are now numerous high quality psychological texts and hypnotherapy sessions which hen have profound and lasting effects. Still, I’m a prime example of a person who was not born to be attractive to one’s eye. Don’t get me wrong. I’m very outgoing and have many wonderful friends. People like me. However, I have more female friends than male. And people, especially women, often don’t like it.
I’m not saying if you develop yourself to be more desirable that you will automatically become an attractive person. That is not the key to being a successful person. Success is being able to adjust who you are to be more acceptable to one’s reality while, at the same time, resisting the truth of that same reality i.e. walking with your head down, always looking down, not looking at people with interest and eventually not even trying.
To be more acceptable to one ‘s reality you must be willing to brave the truth ~ and you ‘m also going to have to be pretty vigorous in applying this new advocated behavior ~ and especially when you feel the desire to resent one ‘s reaction to what you are doing.
On the other hand, if you don’t deal with the realities of your being and are easily conned by affirmations, you are going to be cautious to every dollar you spend. When someone disappoints or reject you, you hope no one is at fault. If you are attentive to the source of the disappointment or rejection, it feels like one of these downer moments where you must deflect it back on to someone else or let it go.
When you Deflect off blame onto someone else, you deflect your own feelings from whatever it is you felt to begin with. The time you deflect away from yourself is also when you must be careful of who you are deflecting your troubles from. Should negative feelings build up, this is the time you must offer self affirmation ~ “I am okay. I have been okay. I am not the problem.” This tightens the connection between self and self that must exist in order to make you feel secure, safe and accepted.
It takes a lot of practice to assert and believe that you are okay in all situations, that you are not the problem and that you have been okay even when you haven’t been okay. Suggestions are often made to turn deflections into positives by telling yourself, “Every lesson learned is a gift, and I have learned this.” However, the habit of deflecting blame and negativity from situations onto other people is also offering a comfortable haven for frustration, self-doubt, depression, opinion-seeking and other destructive forms of behavior.
You are okay, even when you aren’t okay. You just haven’t determined yet, and you may feel as though you are ultimately making progress in changing you for the right or wrongdoings in your present reality when in fact, all you are doing is further entrenching the slide intooserious, unhealed feelings. If you have problems attendant upon feelings going unhealed, they are a problem you can serve yourself one way or the other. The only way to completely resolve these problems is to address them from the inside out using the process of deflection. Doing this has far reaching benefits.
It enables you to make changes in your energy and practice principles that are far more beneficial to youthan the mere avoidance of them. For example, suffering from anxiety can assist you to learn how to increase your ability to think rapidly and efficiently. Similarly, stress, the heartbreak of a breakup, can provide you with such valuable feedback that you can review for yourself what areas in your life require improvement.
Deflection Situation #2: Adverse Assessments,inopport:
Deflection situation #2: Hearing [or making] the familiar
Your partner has hurt you before. History has repeated itself through your relationship with a loved one. You shouldn’t allow yourself to be initiator any more. You’ll allow your partner to bring more strength to the relationship and make abundantly clear that what happened to you before doesn’t mean anything. You deal with the familiar by simply choosing to focus on a future that remains more positive and less threatening. You remain clear about your original goal: finding a loving relationship that isn’t threatening.