For the vast majority of women who spend nearly half of their lives turning 30, the prospect of simply going out and meeting someone to spend the rest of their lives with is at best whimsy. Then you’ve got what every young woman dreads, the idea that you’re stuck in a Moore’s situation: no husband, no children, no real prospect of anything but working on your age to look pretty and get a man to pay your bills.
Don’t allow yourself to accept this state of affairs. No matter how long you’ve been alone, and no matter how unlucky you are with men you generally meet, there is always a way to get back into the game. Here is what we have for you.
No matter what you hear, the secret to meeting the right guy isn’t that difficult. While the competition is indeed relentless, there are ways to make yourself more appealing. Realize, for example, that you may think it strange that you can’t seem to find a serious relationship. But consider this: other factors may be involved.
* Maybe you have an active social life that involves a lot of clubbing and socializing. The problem here is that men don’t tend to feel as though something is better until they find themselves smack dab in the middle of a REALLY interesting social scene.
* Perhaps your expectations of a serious relationship are a bit too high. Consider how you’d feel if you found out that you’re age biologically didn’t match up with who you personally perceived yourself to be. Then realize that may not be a deal breaker, but it is an important consideration.
* It may also be helpful to figure out what you want from a man before you begin dating. Men can be fickle in their ability to adjust to this, which means you may have to take a good, hard look. Do you want to simply get married and have a family, or do you envision yourself as part of a vibrant social life that includes a great many other serious people? Consider your life’s desires to include a new partner.
Once you have determined what is most important to you, make a list of the things that you want or don’t want in a man. It can be helpful to have multiple lists in your mind. It’s an important exercise, and one that I urge you to do at all costs. The bottom line is that if you have a list of MUST haves, it helps you determine which list will circulate most effectively. Having a list of DOESN’Ts, however, is a bit more subjective.
There will be times when you feel a man is showing all the signs of being genuinely interested in you… and then there will be other times when you feel he’sItalian misfortune. A man is obviously interested in you if he calls you, e-mails you, and asks you out all the time. But there are times when you don’t feel connected to him, and women have a tendency to let those feelings determine which list you’ll HEAD to first.
It can be frustrating trying to determine which list reflects genuine interest; in some cases the GO to guy is simply the one who is hooked on your friendliness and adoration, enough to reciprocate your gesture. Other times there is a jaw-dropping man who drops without a trace. You can make a fair judgment as to who to connect with based on the quality of the connect.
It has been said that the heart is the sum of all the senses and while that might sound obvious it isn’t necessarily true. Men and women assess certain people based on purely physical encounters. The list of “What I see is what I get” may be fooling, especially in the beginning stages of the relationship. Have your physical attraction and the person of your dreams made a list of the “Dislikes” you have and the one thing you don’t want in a man.
You may find yourself tempted to dismiss a man who displays qualities on your list and you lock yourself in the)’I don’t want him in my life” zone. To get out of this, add “Does he match up with the list of Dislikes” or “Does he complement the list of Dislikes” to your list. Then spend some time evaluating both the qualities he possesses and your list of dislikes.You have the tool to do serious due diligence in starting the dating process, but once you run through both the qualities he possesses and your list of dislikes you have nothing to lose.
Once you have determined a basis for fairness andeness, establish a healthy relationship with a man. Take the time to get to know the person, see how he treats you, whether you have similar values or not, as well as whether he brings out the best in you.
