When we talk about “meatless” Valentines Day on the lookout for a story, we know we’re thinking about vegetables. But the one about the pig that ran away with her pet hamster sounds too good to be true. But the story of the pig and her pet hamster has a certain familiar ring to it, because we’ve all read in novels and on the news that recently in Texas a couple fell in love from a hamster. Yes! A hamster.
Now the hamster story isn’t just a story about two people falling in love. It has a moral to it. It has a lesson to teach us, basic things about caring for people not to love them. It tells us how we may become unhappy with a relationship if we keep making the same mistakes with people. The sow that lived up the street from my house literally came to resemble a female pig, at least in her public appearances. My husband and I were sure the hamsters had to be hybrid. We weren’t joking. The story itself has a lesson to teach us about becoming friends with people, and about Tactics, Techniques and Respect.
This story is also atale about Tactics, Techniques and Respect. Tactics and Techniques can be described as the process we use to define an enemy as a “friend.” If we attack an enemy we’re using a tactic, we’re using a technique and going after a person with tactics and techniques. Let’s say a guy friend of mine proposed to my wife the other day. I was shocked because we have been good friends for many years. We always joke around and I am always trying to help her with her problems.
She said: “Oh no. You do realize that I’ve been married before?”
I laughed and told her that the guy had wanted to marry her. She then asked: “But how do I know you’re not going to do the same thing again?” There was an awkward silence for a few moments.
The question about the marriage and the rejection is important. You have to understand that people do and say stupid things. While the marriage is demonstrated in a negative light, we all make mistakes. Being the white knight of history, we say to a concern by saying “No, no, no!” To many people, that’s how they would answer the question, “How do I know you’re not going to do the same thing again?” They would be right.
That’s why when you get a marriage rejection letter, it’s bad, because it doesn’t matter what the outcome is going to be, someone is going to get hurt. The important thing is that we learn the lessons by, you know, dealing with it. You learn from it. And if for no other reason than that we are human, let’s try to learn something from this rejection. Let’s discussions begin the next time there is some kind of rejection.
I feel that there a few themes which re-appear whenever I write or speak about dating and relationships. Not that I think you’re similar to me, but there are topics which are universal.
If you’re a guy, some of what you’ve read might justifely be old-izons for you.Some of the things might seem counter-intuitive.For example, you’ve heard me say that you shouldn’t have sex too soon. Back when I first started dating my wife, I thought that was the best advice. Oh how wrong was I! Ha ha. We became very close, and very attached. It was not a bad idea for me to come out and tell my wife that I was not going to have any kind of sexual relationship before marriage, but I didn’t say that exactly. That information was simply stated within the context of the conversation, but it was 2011 and I had not planned on introducing my wife to my culinary talents and writing this novel.
Another thing that I’ve come to learn about since arguing with my wife about when to introduce my son to my fiancé was that nobody wants to hear about anyone else’s past sexual history. In the case of my wife, she had come to me to tell me about her experiences dating at a certain age when she was a young man. When I asked her about this, she said she didn’t feel like I wanted to know about her past, especially since we (us) were going to be together forever. This was a huge Achilles heel for me. I was looking for a partner who shared my vision of the future, and as such, we were able to start meeting early and stay together for quite a while.
Ultimately, this is a story about communication, and keeping your partners desires in mind the whole time.
