Oftentimes when people come to me to learn about successful dating, they will often complain about their lack of success in this area of their life. Their stories are often heart-wrenching and indicative of a frustrated sense of fate.
I would suspect that the ease with which people can get to first base is a result of the fact that most people are quite ” obliging” in what they say, when it comes to this area of their personalilst at the same time, is not so easy to understand! This was thoroughly obvious to me too, during one of my coaching sessions.
The subject at hand was a young lady who had apparently met the love of her life, but was not able to find the courage to tell him of their relationship. She felt quite uneasy talking about the nature of their relationship.
We discussed the ways in which people can learn to be more confident and self-assured in revealing themselves, and the manner in which those people can then, by definition, reveal the nature and number of people that they are involved in relationships, as well as any communications which may come up.
In my preface I will approach this from the perspective of someone who has a lot of experience in this area, havingWritten guides such as the book ” Be Good With Yourself Without Someone As Yourself”, and also the book on healthy relationships, “Feel Better, Get Better”.
The lady concerned was slightly apprehensive, whereby she feltthat she was intimidated by the much older man whom she was currently dating. She appeared to be in a hypnotic mood, and started to have frank opinions towards his behavior, partly as a way of assessing how she felt about him, and partly because she wanted to help him overcome his own insecurities.
During our conversation, she shared with me the fact that although she was in fact a very happy lady, and a very successful one at that, she found the current relationship so hard to tackle, and she was afraid that it might prevent her achieving her true potential in her chosen profession. Hence she was so afraid to leave it, and was not sure whether she should be sacrificing her career for the sake of loving him.
To deal with such an impediment in any love relationship, the first thing that you need to do is to know what is important to your cleavage, and your mind. Do not forget that the more in tune and involved you are with your person, the more you are likely to feel and do the right things. Therefore your attitude should be one of carefree and non-judgmental.
I have said earlier that if you do not reveal your feelings and such in your relationship, you will find it harder to communicate in future, and you will be intimidated and inhibited. Your partners (or potential partners for that matter) will then be able to sense this prevented from communicating, and any kind of bond initiated will be weaker.
But if you can revel in the fact that you have the freedom to communicate with your partner and share your true feelings anytime and anywhere, then you will be more likely to succeed at a successful dating relationship.
Indeed, such communication often occurs online nowadays, with such social media sites as Facebook and Twitter already being used by a lot of people. Therefore there is no need to be shy, and you have the time and space to get information whenever you want.
The thing with online communication is that you have the full control of the situation and any leverage you may have is always at your discretion. There is no time limit for such communication, and you therefore do not have to be shy if you want to reveal yourself, your issues, whatever misgivings you may have about any activity you are involved in.
Now coming to my last tip, it is very important that when it comes to conveying such messages you should not write everything that is within the message body, such as your life’s story, yet leave enough room for your partner to draw his own conclusion from the information revealed so far.
So for example if you happen to share information about your partner with your friends in a social chat, you do not have to impress them with everything they know, but the key here is to make them curious enough to want to know something more about it.
Another thing you must also avoid is to give your partner mixed messages as well by giving him mixed signals about your feelings towards him.
It so happens that a lot of men believe that a woman should just lean about manipulating them into doing things they want, but to keep in mind that the “man” in this concept is a guy.
As I have shared with you guys are mostly loyal towards women they love and respect, but they also have their own needs as well.