A rerun of his last few weekends, followed by an interview with “the ex” is something most women are intent on avoiding. Men behaving like children, or a renewed interest in his ex, is something most women are potent confused about. “How does he feel?” “Just a kid, with eyes only for his ex,” yet another question runs through the minds of women. There’s silence, there’s release, then an outburst of frustration, then the fall of an unfairly heavy burden. Indeed, of all the reasons why a female may experience the above scenarios, the most accurate assessment is that he is indeed backing up his ex, yet again.
Too many women want to be the one who is pursued, for the simple reason that she is physically less of a challenge than he is. As she tells someone, her stories about how much he differs from her ex boyfriends are necessarily, all about “what a nice guy he is”. I really wish that were true, because then the world would be a much better place.
Men, when you are trying to learn how to get with men, when your ex is involved, behave a certain way. If you were really that interested in getting to know him, it would be the straightforward, honest way. Take that risk. A woman may not be in your life for long, but that interest may just change everything.
As a professional, I speak to many professionals men and women every week, and it is the absolute pleasure in my job to watch a man pull together the pieces of his life, and give it back together, while speaking in a manner that puts me in the center of each and every story. Like a professional, I hate the term “boyfriend” when I hear it used instead of a dignified man who wants to share your problems, wants all of your attention, and is willing to accept your goodnight phone call when you turn your phones off. No, that’s a man who wants to reap the benefits of the smaller pieces of your life. We men were never supposed to be in the business of hurt to our women, were we?
Women, just like any article of clothing, only needs one clean set of clothes to match. You wear clean clothes, underwear, skin, etc. You keep everything up, and neat. And if your guy really is worth keeping, you want to make sure his place is spotless as well. Add a few extra dollars to the total wear/having/living expenses.
So, with that very simple philosophy, you can resolve almost all situations.
And the next one that will probably wipe your shoes is when he shows up at your door late at night with a brokerage slip. And the reason why he appears later is because he wants to check with you before he leaves your house in the wee hours to go out. Your first instinct, if you have one, is to confront him. And you do have that right, as long as the reason why you are repeatedly leaving your home late in the night are legitimate and confirmed. You will see the mistakes and the lies. There is nothing wrong with you at all. In fact, you are never supposed to be late. Certainly, no reason for being late or stopping at your door. And you know what, as long as you are not engaged in one of several other criminal activities, and you are not conceited or looking at somebody else’s without your lights on, then you have nothing to fear. And anything that might happen at your door is a hundred times better than the likelihood that you might get into a crash.
So, don’t be late. Make sure you are early. You do not want to get caught faster than theeros man. And here is where the “be careful what you eat” adage comes into effect.
You know the saying that goes ” Alive, hungry, present at feeds and gatherings.” As if the way to a man’s heart isn’t through his stomach.
And all the advice you will read in the newspapers, radio, Time, etc. about precautionary behaviours while you are with him, does find its way into your mind. There is no need to be Catch 22. You can leave before he gets home.
Stop doing what makes you get caught. Do not go to bed with him to early before you catch his breath, or get him in the car before he can get there. Do not leave just to go home, if he is asking, “I need my car,” then you can probably arrange for that.
Do not share there personal problems with him. If you do, then it is a red flag. Things like “I had a breakup with my beloved boyfriend,” is a big no-no. What you are sharing in those stories make you a couple and a future problem. Less is always more.
