First dates are painful. Most everyone hates them because of all the awkward silences. How do you get through the night? Easily! Just use this technique to keep the conversation running smoothly and infinitely ahead in the game of seduction and attraction.
When you run out of things to say, use this tool to stay stuck talking, and hopefully get her number or a commitment, then get outa–(insert any verb you want here)–
The goal of this exercise is to get her to see you as interesting, well-rounded, and self-confident.
You just go out, and guess what? You bring up some random stuff that’s not really normally a part of your normal conversation… Things like your childhood, what you’re doing this weekend, stuff like that.
You stand there and look at her like she’s processing billions of different types of information all at once. Then you either find something you share in common (she likes cheese, and you do too…), or you have a genuine interest in learning more about her.
Once you start talking about something she’s not that interested in, such as how you once surfed competitive waters, you start talking about what you really enjoy about that topic. It lets her know that you’re comfortable and confident enough to talk about anything, which subsequently makes her feel good about sharing whatever she has to say with you.
It works on several levels. First of all, you are the confident, in-control guy who isn’t going to sit around and wait for her to inject stuck, boring topics into your brain. Second of all, you are displaying a personal interest in her. By talking about your childhood experiences (or not) while talking about what you like to do, you are not only showing that you got through some (that part of your life is over) but are also subtly suggesting that you would like to continue that experience with her.
It also demonstrates that you are comfortable enough about yourself to share something personal about your life with her, and you’re not afraid to include her in that conversation, but you’re not going to put her on the spot and have to hear from her about everything in 24 hours.
Not only that, but you’ve established a friendship with her! If she likes you, she’ll become even more relaxed talking to you about personal things. She won’t feel the need to prove to you that she’s “better than everybody else” because someday you might meet someone that does indeed “outshined” her.
What this process will do is slowly destroy any timidity you may have about asking a woman out. Think about it – you might be a good story teller and have a lot to offer a woman who is only interested in your humor, but if you’re a dullard in your demeanor, she’s liable to just turn her back on you and walk away.
Don’t hate me, but I’ve already received several e-mails from guys who should have asked her out, but didn’t because they didn’t do what guys 5-10 have been doing 24-7. I encourage you to think about what those guys could have done differently in terms of building the conversation, engaging her, and creating a solution to the “How to ask a girl out problem.”
Now, if you’re the kind of guy that keeps showing up at 20-something’s friend’s house for comfort building, I think you might be dealing with a bit of a specifically female release. Yes, the problem is with you, and you should do some personal growth to improve your chances of success.
Fixing what isn’t broken is the best way to go, so turn off the Xbox, take out the video game and pamper yourself a little, take some time to learn how to pick up women. Then – and only then – will you be ready to curl up in your chair with a nice bottle of Beco and forget all about those scary fears of asking a girl out that you’ve had forever.
Welcome to the 80% of men that finally listen up!
