Are You In Love With Her Or With Your Imagination?

man kissing woman during daytime

Recent studies based on advanced brain scans have shown conclusively that when we look “significantly” at people as they’re different from ourselves, in terms of how much of their brain activity power we use, we come to see them in a new light.

One of the most dramatic ways this happens is when we have one major crush on somebody who has a non-existent lifestyle. For a lot of people, this can translate into a love life that is literally one without them, or one filled with pain, anxiety and doubt.

But if we look at things more generally, when we love somebody we actually imagine them having all sorts of faults, in common, until we come to know them better as we learn more experiences together.

These same feelings take us to relationships in general, with each different person bringing us more experience, and so the more we love somebody, the more we learn about what makes them tick too. These feelings take us to wonderful wholeness. So why not make it easier on the whole process by keeping our own private little World, that we create and solidify through our own images and sensations?

Don’t be too quick to blame anybody but ourselves for falling in love, or falling out of love. The brain is one of the most powerful things in the universe, but it’s amazingly silent. (Well, only something like 95% of it, anyways.)

Most of us consider the wholeness of a person when we first meet. Is she cute? Is he tall? Does he drive a Horse? Is he “The One?”

While all these things are important, the most important demarcation to make between love and lust, is where the person’s sexual proclivities fit within the person’s overall disposition.

Is she aThrobber in the House, Who Likes to Wine, Dance and Have Fun?

Or…

Is she aRomantic in the Present, Who Wants to Be Heard, Feel and Be Loved?

Yes, guys…the give and take is what is really going to determine the wholeness of your relationship.

Be Smart About defining “The One”, or “The mix”, as the brain chemistry comes to that point. Make sure your personal requirements and life goals are clearly set forth. Clearly expressing your “asons for love” (in the hope somebody will find the whole shebang irresistibly romantic) is a must.

Make sure you have a very clearly defined purpose, and vision for the relationship. Is that not a mushy yet powerful mix of emotions, joys, and anger, shame and guilt all tidily wrapped up in neat little rut whose boundaries you set one cell at a time?

Another thing to require a very clear set of boundaries is for both parties to gentlemen respect each other totally, and absolutely stop there. What’s the point of getting to know somebody if you’re not going to be able to stick to your opinions, values and desires?

What if the other person changes their mind, wants more, or even gives you a thumbs up? repeating “yes” and flashing a smile might be a bit premature if the other person doesn’t feel the same way. Do you know what to do then?

Are You Still Single

But if you strongly feel in your gut (or, a more accurate expression is, a cooler more accurate way of expressing your “althoughts” today) that you are ready, and willing, to give up your single status, feel free to kick back and follow along, there’s hope. Once you follow along with your new beliefs, logic dictates that the ideal partner is available.

How to know when you are ready? You begin doing all of the things that support your single status: hitting the gym, getting a new clothes and hairstyle (or just changing the way you dress a little if you are dressing you down), doing some volunteer work, having more fun activities, trying out new adventurous things, and just being a more positive person.

So in conclusion, being ready, if you’re a single yourself, might not happen until you’re deep in the process of following along to where you want to go, but it sure can happen!

One other great tip is, when you’re ready to start living the life that you want, throw out the old and bring new things into your life, mix it up, experiment, try new things, and most importantly, get back into circulation for a while! You’re going to be glad you did.

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